Lately I have gotten into a hobby of collecting REALLY bad jokes. Thanks to the internet, and screwed up friends with awful senses of humour (LYNX!), as well as my own screwed up, sick mind, I've collected quite a few. If you have anymore for me, email them to me. Some are in Q and A form, others are just jokes ... just send whatever you've got to me, any format ... even "your mama" and "you know you're a *fill in the blank* when ..." are acceptable. Contact me, OK? Here we go.

Q: Where do generals keep their armies?
A: In their sleevies.

Two atoms (y'know, like, molecules?) are walking down the street. One all of a sudden says 'ow'. The other asks what's wrong. 'I think I lost an electron.' comes the reply. 'You sure?' 'Yes; I'm positive.'

((NOTE: Only kids who go to my school will get this one))
Q: How many artsies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None: we get the techies to do it for us!

You know you're a Jedi redneck when you pick your teeth with your lightsaber.

You also know you're a Jedi redneck when you're name's Luke and your girlfriend's named Leia (inbreeding joke, for the more slow-witted of you). :)

Q: What happened to the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had a litter of mittens.

Q: What's green and goes up and down, up and down, up and down?
A: A pickle in an elevator.

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a deck of cards!
Doctor: I'll DEAL with you later.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Q: Why did the man sit on the marshmallow?
A: So he wouldn't fall into the cocoa.

Worst joke I've ever heard: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."